the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
