She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
