thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
