Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
