How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
