I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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