Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
try to milk me bitch
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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