Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
