woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
