it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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