i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
