Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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