What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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