Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
