ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
