haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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