I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
