Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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