Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it's like iHOP with fire
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
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No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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