i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
