when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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