She said her name was "party"
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
