1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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