Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
