The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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