I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
