so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
