We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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