my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
