You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize