My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
