I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
