she pinky promised me she was 18
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
