I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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