He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
