Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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