It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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