I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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