Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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