I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
