It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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