thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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