Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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