They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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