My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
