I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
