it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
