So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
