sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
