this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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