This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize