? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
