I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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