Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
