I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
