You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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