mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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