Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
