Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
