I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
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4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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