Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
