I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I look better un-naked...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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