i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
